I Have a Problem.

Really I have several problems, but my biggest one right now seems to be a lack of motivation. I have a ton of work to do that I am not interested in at all and I know if I just start it I can get it done in a fairly decent amount of time. BUT, I can't make myself start and people are starting to catch on. Poor Bill (the non-preceptor) has been ridiculously helpful. I think half of it is out of boredom and the other half may very well be that he thinks I am completely incapable of performing the tasks assigned to me. He's finally starting to realize how little I have accomplished. And by little, I mean seriously little but at the same time all the tasks are tedious and nearly pointless. I think he's trying to motivate me but I am so self- conscious that I can't work when I feel like he's paying too much attention to what I'm doing. Like today, I was entering in recipes for a cost evaluation and he sat down and was reading off ingredients for me and checking the inventory when I needed more specifics on the ingredient in question. I believe it was a result of, as I said earlier, his boredom and probably a little of that southern hospitality but it drove me nuts. I feel like it was something I could have done by myself and so I ended up telling him so and then I felt bad so I chatted with him and then lost motivation. It is turning in to a vicious cycle. But tonight I am going to work hard so I can have things done by tomorrow. Hopefully my preceptor will be impressed, although at this point I really am more motivated by being able to show Bill that I'm capable of getting things done.

Aside from that today was not super interesting. I did inventory in the morning with Bill and froze my butt off, those freezers are COLD, for good reason. I gave my in service which was kind of a bomb but it just means there is room for improvement. The students their for field work I think were pretty bored, as was expected, i didn't really see them. Tomorrow I'm observing another education that I will be responsible for next week when I'm in out patient and then I'm finishing my recipe stuff (if it isn't finished tonight).

Recap of the weekend: It was fairly uneventful. I stayed on for most of it since I am broke at the moment. I did watch the Saints game with my girls and I can say I about had a heart attack at the end. Clearly, I got wrapped up in the excitement and I was right there with everyone who was holding their breath for a victory. It was really exciting. And that is pretty much it.

Here's my new favorite quote until next time, "What had happened was. . ."